A brother left the following comments on the blog, reinforcing the message that we posted on Polygyny. Most of you will not have read these comments, so I asked him if it would be okay to post it as an article. Thus with his permission we are very blessed to share this with you. I just want you to know that he is a research physicist at one of our universities here, so the examples that he uses are backed by his professional expertise.
Thank you for standing up for this matter! The break
down of the family unit seems to be high up on the enemy’s agenda, causing the
downfall of this generation, providing him easy access to the coming
generation. As he worked this through Balaam to destroy the nation of
To the many good points quoted above, I would like to add some more - to share with those who may consider going that way, to save them, their families, and the body of Messiah from harm.
1) We husbands still fall terribly short of loving our wives according to our Master’s standard. We still fail the commandment to love our wives “as Messiah the Congregation”! How could we then ever think about adding another wife, which will make us even fail more in love! A husband trying to serve the one wife’s special need, will unavoidably neglect the other. Focusing on the needs of the one, he will have to draw his attention from the other. As one cannot serve two different masters equally, one cannot love two different wives equally. Adding a wife is going in the wrong direction concerning our goal of growing in love and “becoming one”.
2) We are created, both husband and wife, with a desire to be exclusively loved: SoS 8:6 Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm. For love is strong as death… and the verse continues jealousy is cruel as Sheol. From all the examples of the resulting jealousy we find in scripture and the world around us, how could we –if we love our wives– even consider taking this risk, thinking that “touching this fire will not burn us”? Human jealousy is a destructive force that man cannot endure (Prov 6:34-35), destroying the key foundations of marriage – the underlying trust on both sides, quenching love. In men it causes “rage, uncontrollable anger” and Elohim gave special instructions for when the spirit of jealousy overcomes a man (Num 5:14...). Don’t cause your wife to suffer something that you are not even able to handle or endure. Don’t invite this spirit into your house, for –whether to man or to woman– its fire is painful to the depth of the soul!
3) We cannot look back and apply the same standard to us, which Elohim in his mercy had for a fallen creation with “hard hearts” in the old covenant. Messiah’s answer (concerning the granted divorce which Elohim hated, but allowed because of their hard hearts) was “…but it was not this way from the beginning”. Our Father send the redeemer, to create in us a new heart, no longer hard as stone, to renew our mind according to the mind of Messiah, to restore us back to His perfect will, according to which He created us in the beginning when He made us, in Eden: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife [Singular!] and they shall become one (echad, unified) flesh. We no longer should live as a fallen creation, but we are restored – We are a NEW creation!
4) Our Master’s last prayer for us was that, we would “become one”. In the context of Marriage between husband and wife, this starts with “becoming one flesh”. Our own physiology, that is the way we were created, already shows that we are meant to be one husband and one wife. The first time husband and wife come together, the hymen breaks and the blood is shed and both become literally one flesh, one human organism. Now being one, every consecutive time they come together is like a memorial of this blood covenant.
There is no physiological way a normal man can be physically one with more than one wife, simultaneously.
Complete physiological unity in marriage works only between two, one man and one woman. If you add another woman, maybe the man can be physiologically one with each one of them at different times, but the two women can never be physiologically one with each other. Hence, the husband+2wives triplet can never be physiologically completely one.
As the incompatibility in physiology between the two wives already warns, the examples of polygyny in scripture strongly points to the emotional incompatibility in marriage to the same man. And so the problem of incompatibility between the two wives will consequently become a key problem to the whole family, which will fail trying to “become one”. This must be a strong warning to us husbands, for we will not be able to fulfill our responsibility to lead our family in unity. Polygyny will rather destroy it and will undoubtedly hurt our wives and our children and our children’s children. And eventually we will have to give account for it.
5) The fundamental concept of “two united” we find not only in our physiology, but is revealed even in the lowest level; in the very matter which Elohim formed our bodies out of. Proton and Electron (the basic particles forming the atoms) are electrically charged particles – of opposite charge. As these opposites attract, one Electron and one Proton will form a stable union, the Hydrogen atom. The Proton being the heavy center, around which the Electron oscillates. Both are attracted and kept stable together by their opposite charge.
Now, it is true that you can temporarily form a weakly stable Hydride atom, in which two Electrons oscillate around one Proton - but it will strongly react with its environment and its structure will quickly fall apart. And as long as it exists, both Electrons will indeed try to come as close as they can to the Proton, but stay as far as they can apart from each other.
6) Now, the unity between Proton and Electron goes even deeper. The closer Proton and Electron come together, the stronger is the attracting force between them. When one Proton and one Electron come extremely close to each other, the force will be extremely strong and they will combine to form a new particle, the Neutron. The Neutron is no longer electrically charged - as a unit all opposites in charge are eliminated. As Elohim separated the first Adam into two human beings, man & woman, also the human characteristics are being divided between two humans of opposite kind, being attracted to each other by their complementing differences. As they become one, they form the complete human being, no longer individually incomplete but a complementing unity.
Back to the matter of the elementary particles our bodies consist of: This unity only works between one Proton and exactly one Electron, not two.
7) Beside all the warning examples of polygyny in scripture, it is further interesting to note that the first polygyny of mankind appears in the cursed line of Cain. While the seventh from Adam in the obedient line, Enoch walked with Elohim, the seventh in the cursed line, Lamech, chose to become a murderer and take two wives. The one followed life, the other death. The one lineage (seed) was saved through the flood, the other ended with it. As the article states, the restored creation started again with couples of one husband and one wife. And not only for mankind, but also for all the animals, who were saved in pairs!
As husbands, let us not allow the enemy to harm the miracle of Elohim, who made each of us one with his wife. Rather, let each one of us work with more with his heart to love his wife as Messiah His congregation.